


Carnivore.

by MindAndHeart



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Philosophy, giant black cat, panther
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-27
Updated: 2015-09-27
Packaged: 2018-04-23 16:38:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4884067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MindAndHeart/pseuds/MindAndHeart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stay away from me. I will kill.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Carnivore.

“STAY AWAY FROM ME!” Carmilla's voice breaks in the roar when she turns to me with tears in her eyes. Her eyes mixed with rage and anger, behind which there is a terrible pain. And all of this was directed at me.

 

“If any of you come to me, I swear to God, I will kill,” Carm look at me, leaving her mother's apartment. I'm at a loss on the spot, not knowing what to do. Run to her or remain in place? I closed my eyes and tears continued to flow. I tried to understand. My God, what have I done? Opening my eyes, I looked at the lifeless body of Mattie. Lord. I personally killed her sister. Danny sat down on the floor, still holding her ribs. LaF were lying on the sofa, holding their head.

 

“You need to talk to her,” Kirsch looked at me with a shrug.

 

“Kirsch, she will kill me ...”

 

“She's, like, well ... in love with you. Go,” Wilson smiles at me, and I run, looking for Carmilla. Running out onto the street, I quickly looked around, trying to figure out where Carm could have got to. Seeing an open door to the basement, I rushed back, almost fell down from the stairs. I stopped only when I saw Carm was in a rage. She bit the wall with her fist.

 

“I hate you, I hate you, I hate you,” she repeated with each hit on the wall. I like it when she behaves. She becomes natural and without any pathos masks and arrogance. But this behavior was fraught. For me. No need to fall in love with those who can’t love.

 

“Carm,” I whispered, trying not to breathe and not to provoking a vampire.

 

“Get out,” her voice shook the wall, but she didn’t turn to me.

 

“Carm, please,” saying these words, I saw that Carmilla stopped hits the wall. She rested her hand on the wall, laughing. And it was a terrible, frightening and terrifying laugh.

 

“What is "please"? Your "please" don’t fix anything.”

 

“Carm, please, we need to talk.”

 

“I'm fucking tired of talking to you,” growl escaped from her lips. Her back stiffened and her fingers clenched into a fist, leaving a furrow in the wall. I gulped, but took a step forward, stepping into the unknown.

 

“All our conversations don’t bring anything good,” she grins. “Mattie is proof.”

 

“Carmilla ...”

 

“How could you!?” I burst out of her insides a growl, I felt it my skin. “I believed you, as the last idiot. I loved you, as the last idiot. And what are you repaid me? My sister is dead. I told you about how to kill Mattie, only for the fact that, if I was not there, and she would try to hurt you ... What a fool I was. You could never keep your filthy mouth shut. You always wanted to share with everyone all. Your stupid show is proof.”

 

“I told about it to Danny, because I wanted to protect her!”

 

“And I wanted to protect you!” Carm turned to me, snarling. I swallowed hard, trying to rid myself of the fear. Carmilla's eyes blazed with hatred. Have you watched once on someone in the eyes really? I'm always afraid to look straight into the eyes of Carm. I was always scared her eyes. If our eyes crossed, her eyes remained unsolved for me, covered with centuries-old layer of grief and suffering.

 

“I’ve never cared about others. I always cared about you,” her hands compressed in fists, “not about all of these read-haired, not about bros, not even about myself ... And you betrayed me ...”

 

“This is not true!”

 

“Shut up,” Carm closes her eyes, breathing heavily. “I always knew that people are rotten. You are no exception.”

 

“Carm,” I whisper, looking at how the vampire's face grimaces in anger and how she slowly begins to come to me. She was like a wild animal, who was preparing to jump, looking at her victim. I swallowed slowly, stepping back.

 

“You can’t even imagine how I want to kill you, ripping out of your chest your miserable heart,” Carmilla hisses. Her hands clenched into fists. Her jaw is compressed. I put my back in the cold wall. My heart discouraged frantic pace. Carm came up to me, staring at my face.

 

“This world is so cruel,” vampire grins. “The love which I have for you and your immature feelings for me will always remain parallel, with no chance to cross. If only I could love you the way you want to ...”

 

“Carm, please ...”

 

“Previously, I have long wondered about what is “love”. I analyzed and rummaged, displaying my feelings on the shelves. As a result, it appeared that any object of my desire I could easily change on the same. And only you were “mistake”. Inexplicably “mistake”. Not controlled by me “mistake”. And I realized that I don’t belong to myself.”

 

“Carm ...”

 

“Why can’t I hurt you like you can hurt me?” Carmilla lowers her head, laughing bitterly. Carm raises her hand, gently touching my cheek and coming closer. Her thumb strokes my cheek. I swallow. Her fingers slide below, appearing on my neck. Thumb strokes the skin where the pulse beats.

  
  
“And today, I realized that I don’t care. I'm a monster, and the monster always doesn’t care,” her fingers grip around my neck, pushing me into the wall. I gasp, squeezing the hand of Carm.

 

“I love you. But, I'm sorry, it doesn’t mean that I will never hurt you,” she whispered when her fingers stronger squeeze my neck. I gasp. My fingers are unclenched and arms limp like ropes, fall, hitting the wall. When I said goodbye to life, suddenly she unclenched her fingers, and I coughed. I slid down the wall. While I was trying to catch my breath, I closed my eyes. I don’t know how much time passed, but when I opened my eyes ... I saw a giant black cat. Carm sat against me, looking at me.

 

I shrank into the wall, looking for protection and understanding that in any case I have nothing to help. Carmilla is going to kill me. I swallowed, looking at the huge claws and the huge fangs when Carm growled.

 

“Carm, please forgive me. Lord, I don’t want that all happened. Believe me,” her roar rolled around the basement. “Carm, they're my friends, you have to understand it. I can’t lose them.”

 

Panther growled.

 

“Carm, I didn’t want to Mattie died. However,” the cat just snorted, burning me with her golden eyes. “You're right, I made you change, become better for me, but ... ... I didn’t realize that you didn’t want. Carm ...”

 

Carmilla rises on all paws, clearly getting ready to jump. I hide my head in hands, hiding my face in my lap, becoming similar to the embryo only in a pose of fear. I don’t know how much time passed until the moment when I felt the cold and wet nose rested against my hands, dousing hot breath. I put off palms; raising my head, immediately find myself nose to nose with a giant cat. Panther’s eyes blaze yellow. Carefully, I extend my hand, trying to touch her, and Carmilla snorts, but not suspended, giving a touch her. My hand gently glides over the fur, feeling softness. Carm closed her eyes, resting her nose to my forehead, why I involuntarily recoil back, bumping into a wall.

 

“Carm, forgive me if you can,” panther growls, and I immediately shut eyes, trying not to breathe. Carmilla sniffed my hair, down below, and she buried her nose into my neck. Cat blissfully breathes. Now I realize that every action of mine could provoke Carm who easily can rip off my head.

 

My hands nervously and gently wrap around the neck of Carmilla, snuggling closer to her, feeling like a cat begins to purr. I don’t know the exact amount of time that we stayed with Carmilla in the basement, embracing, but I can tell one thing. She was ready to forgive me every time.

  
  
“I'm too much ... not ready to let you go ...”


End file.
